I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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