if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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