mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
