I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
