i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
