my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize