I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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