we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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