..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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