I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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