respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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