Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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