Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
