Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize