I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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