oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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