i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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