my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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