South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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