I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
