Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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