You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
