What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
being pregnant is like rehab
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
They have beer where we have blood.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
