Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
