Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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