I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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