I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
