the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
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hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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