bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
