If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
