I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize