i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i think i have two assholes
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
