I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
