dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
vagina is talking i cant
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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