How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
