I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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