Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize