I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize