if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
