So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you would pick up someone in the library
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
