Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
