i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize