I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
