I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
