By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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