He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
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The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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