only if we run a train.
done.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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