i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
