So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize