Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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