are you still at the devil's house?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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