you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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