she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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