i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
