I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
