he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
