Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
