i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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