i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
