What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
